Brain Fried

When I get home from work, I am burnt out.  I want to do something productive and creative but my brain is fried.  It's getting on my nerves.  I'm forcing myself to type this up in hopes to see what comes out.

So I need to give myself SOME credit.  I have been writing a ton - the kind with a pencil on paper.  Lots of thinking and pondering and planning and drawing shapes and bullet points.  I have been reading articles and stuff online, as well.  Mostly it's 'original creative and productive stuff' that I wish I was doing more of.

For example, I read this breathtaking article by someone picking apart the first Portal storyline.  It's amazing, and it hit me square between the eyes, because I had similar thoughts about Portal 2.  When I played the sequel, especially the coop storyline, (which I still haven't completed!  My partner wasn't into it as much as I was,) my mind was blown.  I took pages and pages of notes and wanted to write this huge essay - how GlaDOS is my favorite villain, what her REAL motivations are, etc.

Needless to say, the notes sit collecting dust in one of my many notebooks!

You will learn to get used to me saying "I had this idea..." The story above is not unique.  I am abused by the muse - she strikes at the worst possible times: in bed, in the shower, in the middle of a meeting, a drive, a kiss.  It's agonizing to not be able to get an idea 'down' - pencil is too far away!

My List Of Stuff To Do is filled with lots of nubbins of creative things - write this article, read this thing, play this game, watch this thing.  They end up getting complex and evolve from nubbins to nubs to paragraphs to outlines to projects.  Then they get neatly filed away into the sea of other projects that I can't work on next because you can only work on one thing at a time.

So I guess the writing part isn't the problem.  Most nights I write myself to sleep - words and words and thoughts and thoughts and ideas and ideas until I find myself holding a pencil with my eyes closed.  Often times my brain still wants to go but my body has already paid the check and the waiters are waiting for me to leave so they can clean my table, restock the napkins, get their tips and leave.

I need to give myself the credit that I am being productive and creative - the issue is just that I need to find an efficient way to share it with you!

I leave you with how this feels: